Alright I felt so much better aft talking to Jovial just now. Maaaaaaan she could totally empathise with me. It's pretty amazing how we're so alike, as if she's some long lost twin of mine or something haha. Made me understand myself a little more.

I dont like loneliness. It just feels empty and I dont like the feeling. I like having people around me, I like being accompanied. Yes I'm dependent.

Although I'm an extrovert (or at least I think so), I cant interact with everyone. I have to accept the fact that not everyone's the same and I cant force people to come together, friendships are forged naturally. It's pointless to try too hard.

Okay that's pretty much it. Bye!

Okay... So this is the first time I'm feeling so horrible and I dont know who to confide in. Fuck why's my life so miserable. I dont even know hw to express myself. Maybe I'm just weird and socially awkward.

Before I post all the CNY pics and all, I have one huge confession: I REALLY CANT STAND BEING ALONE!! T.T

Okay it's enjoyable sometimes. It means freedom, time for myself. Time to do whatever I want, time to reflect.

But most of the time it just means loneliness. Boredom. Silence. And I really cant stand it ): I avoid having meals alone; I avoid going to lectures alone; I can never comprehend how people can watch movies alone. Nw I'm in the room alone and I'm feeling so sad ): Maybe it's just the after effects of having so many ppl ard me during the festive period and suddenly being thrown into this social vacuum. It really feels so awful ):

Alright end of emoing here. It's a perceived sin to be sad right..? ):

It's Chinese New Year Eve... And it feels kinda different.

My bro's nt gonna celebrate CNY with us cos he's working in Japan. Such a gd excuse. I wish I could skip it too. Nw I'm left alone for visiting with my parents. Visiting hasnt really been fun for the past years. Nw it's gonna suck even more tt my bro's nt ard ):

Reunion dinner's frigging empty. We usually have it tgt with my uncle's family. This yr they decided to have their own reunion dinner in a restaurant, leaving my ahma, my parents and I for our own dinner. It doesnt quite make any sense, where's the "reunion", it's just going through the motion.

I somehow gt sucked into the adults politics. My mom just asked me nt to play mahjong in my uncle's house tmr, cos we have to return home earlier to bathe at home instead of my uncle's house (which we always do) before headed to my maternal side for visiting.

Oh dear I really dislike all these. In the first place I already dont quite like this supposedly festive occasion. It just seems even more boring this yr. Going through the same cycle tt's getting less meaningful and more of a hassle.

Whoa some bitch's getting really annoying. Julie Lim working in International SOS (ISOS). If any big shot happens to come across this, please read how immoral this lady is.

This woman, Julie Lim, was actually my colleague when I worked in ISOS. She was supposed to help me and three of my friends arrange a trip to Genting from 13 July 2012 to 15 July 2012, and I have then transferred her $320 SGD for the trip. A night before setting off for the trip, she called me to postpone the trip as she claimed that her dad was in critical condition and she was unable to accompany us there. Ever since then, she stopped replying my text messages and ignored my calls. I have tried contacting her via the company email address but the company has disabled staffs from receiving incoming emails. I have also heard that the company has relocated, thus there is almost no way I can reach her now.

I'm just mad about how she shamelessly took our money. She's probably in her 50s. And she's cheating money from four students who are barely 20. I've got no idea how much that sum would mean to her, but from my understanding, ISOS pays its staffs well and $320 shouldn't be that great a deal to her. I really don't see why does she have to avoid me that way. It just gets me so frustrated ):