It's a 100 days to A Levels. From tomorrow onwards, there're only double digits to count down to ): What's worse, Prelims are in 12 days' time.

Last yr, I had this temporary Chem teacher who thought my class for quite a few wks. He was a J5 senior, only 4 yrs older than us. I rmb he gave us this touching speech to study hard before he left. I rmb him telling us tt we need to copy all our tutorial answers even if we didnt do them, cos if one day while preparing for A's, when we realised we need to refer to the ans and we dont have it, we'll start to panic, and by then even our friends wouldnt have the time to care about us cos they'd be too occupied with their own revisions. I rmb him telling us tt we had to study hard, cos even grades like straight Bs couldnt get us to gd courses. It sounded rather freaky, to think tt our friends would just leave us alone when we needed them most.

Now, a hundred days from the most crucial exam, I begin to feel it. Kinda. It's not exactly tt my friends wouldnt help. It's just tt I myself feel embarrassed to ask for help, seeing everyone mugging so madly. I'm afraid tt I'd wasting their time, I'm afraid tt they'll think tt I'm dumb. Even someone I thought I could be frank to could actually get frustrated with me asking questions. Sometimes, even teachers make me feel so helpless, sometimes they'll give me the puzzled, "what do u not understand about this" face, which really made me feel so stupid. Sometimes, I fear to even consult them. I feel like a burden, both to my friends and teachers. I feel pretty much like a failure, a pest, so so inferior. I dare nt imagine the days ahead, they're gonna be so awful.